When we are born, though we have been alive and growing in our mother’s womb for 9 months, we exit the womb as we are, all by circumstances totally beyond our control.
As we grow through our formative years, some of our ideology is formed by our family and environment and some through choices of our own.
As we reach the age of majority it gets real. Now, almost every event in our life becomes a result of choices we make, others are determined by DNA that we inherited from the our ancestors, and still some others by fate?
My father was an active alcoholic to the day he died. I have been in recovery for 28 years. My father also had pancreatic cancer contributing to his death. I too have cancer that will be the death of me. My father also smoked cigarettes until the day he died. I quit smoking 11 years ago and felt great until I started coughing all the time last June.
Was my years of smoking a factor in my cancer? If it was, why did the cancer only rear its ugly head in one lung? Was my cancer from exposure to chemicals throughout my military career? Was the cancer from something I was exposed to after I retired?
From the time I entered the military, other than where I was stationed, Everything I did was based upon choices I made. I have pondered whether or not I could have avoided this cancer had I made different choices. Pondering these questions is nothing more a waste of time and energy because, even though you can change your future by changing you present to a degree, you cannot change your past.
I accept that face (if my doctors are correct) that my days are very limited. I can accept that I will soon find out whether or not my faith is correct in that I will stand before God for judgment. If I am wrong, and I don’t believe I am, I will not know it because consciousness will not be possible after death on this world.
20+ years ago, I was in an extreme depression that also had physical pain associated with it. I got to a point where I had no ability to continue on as I was. I called out to my God and begged Him to either lift the depression and pain, or bring me into His arms away from this world.
I then heard a very strong, yet compassionate voice tell me that “I never asked you to walk alone.” Since I was home alone, the only voice it could be was my God telling me to turn back to my faith, and so I did. The pain and depression passed that day.
Up until I begged God for relief, I had been choosing to live in the City of Man, not the City of God.
My mind is now wandering from what was my original thoughts for this post and I can’t seem to get back to the original path. So, I will just say that our path through life is heavily influenced by the choices we make. Don’t make those choices lightly.