For readers and followers of this blog, for this series only if you wish to reblog An Inconvenient God in individual chapters or in its entirety, I am okay with this. I had foreseen this as being a book, but when I reached the end, I had said all there was for me to say and it is clearly not enough for a book.
At different points in each chapter I ask questions. I do not ask them in search of answers for myself because I already know where I stand. I ask them as catalyst for the reader to consider.
Chapter Six – Strength in the Family Unit
Another consequence of ADS is the children born to young Pippies who became pregnant before they were married or intended to have children. When I say Pippies that became pregnant I mean both the man and the woman because other than one well recorded case, it takes two to make a child.
A result of having children and giving them up for adoption is that later on children that know they are adopted frequently have a self-esteem issue because they consciously or subconsciously feel that they are somehow less valuable to society because they were “thrown away.” I can understand how they would feel this way, but recently came to a rationalization for the abandonment that makes sense (to me anyway).
My rationalization goes like this: Most adopted children were meant to be adopted from the time they were conceived. Whether the adoptive parents could not have more children, had love in their hearts for one more child and decided an orphan was the perfect person to receive that love, or whatever, God has provided the child to fulfill that void.
Many times it includes a family tragedy that leaves these children with other family members to care for, and other times it is a child from the community placed outside the home because of the inability of the parents to raise them, or children given up for adoption due to inexplicable circumstances outside of the community. One thing that the majority of these cases have in common regardless of the reason leaving them orphaned is the child has an unfounded sense of not being loved and not belonging to the family unit. They feel like they are one step away from losing another family in their adopted home and tend to act out whether consciously or subconsciously to test the new parent’s love. The thought pattern is that the new parents do not truly love them and if they so much as do one thing wrong they will be put out. Instead of living with the fear of losing the parents again, they act out and if they lose the safety of their new home, at least they were in power of the situation.
I have a friend, who would probably argue this point with me as his adoptive parents were less than ideal, but I remember whenever we talked about his family, the conversation would eventually end up about his adopted grandparents who he loved very much. To him I would say that my rationalization still applies but he had to go through an extra step to reach the parents meant to raise him.
A lot of these adoptive children have that substandard self-esteem that ends up leading them into relationships that fail in adulthood. Either they choose a spouse who is not compatible with them or they will do something to torpedo the relationship in order to reinforce their view of themselves being unloved and not belonging.
Although I cannot find any statistics previous to circa 2000, I would postulate that about the time Sunday was given up as a day of rest and worship for the family and ADS had a firm grip on American Pippies, the number of orphans drastically increased as did the number of abortions.
A Sense of Family
A further regression from the moral standards we once cherished is the disbursement of the family unit. With no sense of family bonds in ADS stricken families, there is no sense of responsibility to family members. With nothing to tie them down, the individuals leave the area where they grew up and move wherever their deity, the dollar, takes them.
When I was born, the vast majority of my extended family lived within 25 miles of each other. Weekends were often spent with the extended family strengthening the family bonds. As I reached my pre-teens, my father’s worship of the green out trumped my mother’s worship of God and we moved from the center of the state to the eastern portion of Iowa. We were still close enough to occasionally make a day trip to see family in a whirlwind trip but the frequency was nothing when compared to when we lived close to each other.
With time and the passing of the elderly generation, the frequency of visits decreased. As the years passed the visits to family all but ceased to exist. I personally believe that when my father took a job away from my mother’s family, he was already looking for a way out of the marriage because having to support a wife and four children was not conducive to the lifestyle he wanted. His worship of the mighty dollar was more important to him than family. This is evidenced by every woman he had a relationship with after the divorce from my mother was with a woman of means.
Decentralization of the family unit also makes it convenient to concentrate inwardly on the self, rather than outwardly on the whole family. A community of family can overcome many obstacles that the one cannot. A family is like the marriage in that as long as all members of the family want health and happiness for the rest of the unit more than they want it for themselves, the unit will remain strong and thrive. One member turning the focus inwardly weakens the unit for everyone.
Another issue with the decentralization of family units is when family members are not close by to assist physically; it is more difficult for people to recover from personal catastrophes. This is easily demonstrated by simple observation. When someone is hurting, recovering from a tragedy or battling emotional stress, they generally have greater positive results when a loved one can personally hold their hand or hug them while telling them they are there to help. Telling someone via the computer or telephone rarely has the same effect.
Consider this, adding ADS and PIP to the family unit makes a person look inward instead of considering his/her own family members. When a person no longer works towards the good of the family unit and only works for one self, then the respect for the other members within the family unit also falters and ceases to exist.
- Have the number of displaced children (orphans and foster children) increased similar to divorce rates due to ADS?
- Has the number of displaced children increased at a correlated rate to the number of children born out of wedlock? (In 2013, 40.7% of all children born in America were born to single mothers)
- Is the breaking of close family bonds also a contributing factor to ADS and PIPS or is it the other way around?
- Will keeping the family centrally located strengthen the members to ward off the negative effects of personal emergencies and catastrophes?
- Is it more important for people to concentrate their efforts on the people around them or focus on themselves?
- If a person does not respect his/her own family and only looks at satisfying him/her own self, will he/she be capable of respecting others?