Last night the police were called on me by my daughter’s now EX-fiancé. He told them that I was on my way to beat him up. “Wow! The Rural Iowegian a violent person” you ask? No, I am not a violent person normally, but I could be goaded into getting violent.
It all started when I got a call from my daughter who was crying. She told me that her fiancé had come home after being absent for 24 hours and started yelling at her. She explained that he said she was “worthless” and “evil” to start with and while yelling at her kept getting up in her face. I told her to put him on the phone and she replied “I’m locked in my bedroom and can’t go out there because I don’t know what he’ll do.”
I told her that I would head over there to talk to him and see what his problem is. She replied “Please hurry.” I got dressed (I’m a night worker and she had woken me up an hour before I was supposed to get up and get ready for work). Told my wife what was going on and headed out the door.
When I arrived at the secure apartment building, my daughter gave me the code to get in and I entered. When I opened the door the boy was sitting on the sofa and my daughter came out and told me that he had called the police and told them I had threatened to come over and beat him up. I told my daughter that I had no problems with him lying to the police because the truth would come out.
He then told me that I was not entitled to be in the apartment and I had to leave. I laughed and explained to him that since my daughter was the only one on the lease and she had asked me to come over, I was completely entitled to be there to which he replied “Then you are part of the entitlement problem in America.”
Ignoring his statement, I asked what his problem was. “Your daughter is the problem, not me” came the response. I said “My daughter? You mean the one who took you in because you were homeless and unemployed? The one who cared for your two daughters and gave them adult guidance that they weren’t getting from their birth parents? The one who encouraged you and got you the help you needed when you were manically depressed? The daughter, whose family treated you as family because you did not have a support network without them? The daughter who bought them birthday gifts and Christmas gifts because you didn’t have any money or a job? Are you talking about the daughter, whose family helped you move when you got kicked out of your apartment and even rented the moving truck because you didn’t have any money to do so? Is that the daughter you now claim is the problem?” I said this all without raising my voice or any anger in my speech.
It was at this point three police officers came through the door. I was standing at least six feet from this boy with both hands shoved in my pockets, where they had been the whole time.
“That’s him” he told the police officers and pointed at me. Two officers took me and my daughter into the bedroom so they could interview us separately. They asked not if, but why I had threatened him. I told them that I had never threatened him and proceeded to explain what had happened to bring me to the apartment. They asked for my identifiers and then called dispatch to make sure I was not wanted.
While they were doing that, I heard the boy say from the other room that maybe I had not threatened to beat him up but my daughter had threatened to have her father or brother come over and beat him up. “Can’t even keep your story straight can you” I blurted out. The officer in front of me told me not to escalate the situation. I looked at the officer and explained that he could ask anyone that knows me how well I put of with lying, especially when someone is lying about me or a family member.
What came out of his mouth afterwards really irked me. He told the officer that they had been engaged, but he no longer wanted to marry her, but wanted to continue to live under her roof as a ‘roommate’. It all became clear in a heartbeat! He was going to be homeless so he proposed to my daughter so he could move in with her. Now that he had just gotten a job but could not afford to get his own place because he is thousands of dollars in arrears in child support, he needs someone to pay the rent so he has a place to sleep and take his kids when he has visitation! When my daughter heard him say that, she removed the engagement ring from her finger and dropped it on the floor, visibly heart broken.
Then the officers had a discussion and asked me if I lived locally. I told them I did and they asked if my daughter could spend the night with me as they didn’t want to have to return to handle another situation that night. I said “since my daughter is the only one on the lease and this is her apartment, I would suggest that your remove him from the apartment.” Their response was shocking! They said “He says he doesn’t have anywhere to go and would have to sleep in his car if he was kicked out of here.” I told them that he had just got a job and therefore should be able to afford a hotel room for the night, but either way that was not my daughter’s problem because this apartment is hers, not his.
They insisted that my daughter leave so I told them, as I wrote down their names and badge numbers, that if anything in the apartment was damaged to include the apartment itself, or if anything of hers came up missing, I would be holding them and the police department civilly liable for the costs to include court costs, and asked them if they fully comprehended their actions and the possible consequences. One of the officers acknowledged (which is good because they were all wearing body cams which would record the responses) and then turned to the boy and told him if he did anything stupid like damage the premises or her belongings that he would be arrested.
At this point, a friend of my daughter’s showed up and together they started packing what she would need for a few days. Two of the officers ‘escorted’ me out of the building and told me not to threaten him again. I looked at them and told them they were poor ignorant fools to think I would jeopardize my name and freedom for a piece of bovine fecal matter. I told them I could do more damage to him and get more justice for my daughter through the legal system than I could hurting my hand on his face. I asked them to check and see how many times the police had been called to the apartment on situations caused by him before and one did. It turns out the police had been to my daughter’s apartment three times prior (that I did not know about) where he was verbally abusing my daughter, but verbal abuse is not a crime in Iowa.
I then suggested they refocus their attention on the true perpetrator in this incident instead of protecting him, got in my vehicle and left.